"Looking Through" Networking
Submitted by: Peter N. Rice, Owner, pnr, LLC
You’re standing in front of a person at a local networking event. You have answered his question regarding what you do for a living creatively with your 30 second commercial. In turn you ask the same with a power question that is engaging and discover after his reply that he really has nothing to do with your profession, market, industry etc. What do you do now?
Unfortunately, this happens too often and what’s more unfortunate is the way most people handle this scenario. As I bring this situation to audiences I see by their reaction that these people have been victims of the "look through" move. The "look through" move is when someone has determined that you have nothing to offer them and therefore they are looking "through you" or looking beyond you to find someone else in the room to speak with that may have (in their minds) something to offer. How does that make you feel? Not good, yet many of you will turn around and do the same to others.
I recently was listening to a top trainer discussing networking proficiency. His advice included some very good ideas regarding tactically how to behave at a networking event like not to partake in alcoholic beverages, eat early, and plan ahead. One suggestion that didn’t sit well with me was the concept of more is better. He advised the networker to hit as many "prospects" as possible. Understanding everyone wants to maximize their time and gain as many opportunities as possible, think back to the "look through" move. If the concern is quantity not quality, then naturally you are going to "look through" people to increase the numbers.
Here’s what I would suggest. Instead of looking to move on from someone that might not be able to provide you with an opportunity, look to help that person. It’s a matter of six degrees of separation similar to the whole concept of LinkedIn. It’s likely that you can help the person in front of you giving you a reputation of being valuable. Connect the person with a lead (if not you) to someone you know. What do you think their response will be? They will want to return the favor if not immediately, then in the future. It’s called many things; "pay it forward", the Golden Rule, or as I was exposed to: Netweaving a concept by author, Bob Littel.
My suggestion is that if you are qualifying your networking events. You can work harder and walk away with perhaps less leads, but higher quality and hotter. Networking is hard work if you are utilizing the opportunity and are actually going to do it effectively. Even the individuals that are very social and don’t mind mingling with strangers can find a networking event cumbersome and awkward. If you are not going into an event with a strategy you will become frustrated and less likely to go to networking events and therefore miss out on great opportunities.
Collecting cards is easy, creating connections and building relationship is much more challenging, but will be much more lucrative and successful in the long run. In either case the real challenge comes in the follow up. This is where you will separate yourself from the other networkers. I recently received a follow up letter from an individual who attended an event in which I was registered. I was not able to make it, but the letter indicated how nice it was to meet me and asked me to keep in mind the opportunity to work together in the future. How’s that for building a relationship!! Make your follow up meaningful. If you didn’t have a significant enough discussion to reference it, don’t bother following up at all. Make sure in the future you do make the conversation meaningful enough to reference and make notations on the card to help you remember.
In the end, how much more interesting it is to go into this situation with the attitude of helping others and creating connections and relationships? Isn’t that better than receiving the "look through"?
Peter N. Rice is the owner and "Professional Guide" for pnr, LLC. He is Licensed and Certified in the Jeffrey Gitomer TrainOne® sales training system in addition to The Situational Leadership Model®. Peter works with individuals as well as companies helping both reach their growth and profit goals by "Getting Them out of Their Comfort Zone". He is also a part of the Customer Feedback System Group helping companies to get the answer to the “Ultimate Question” and achieving outstanding customer loyalty.
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